Apr 242016
 

 

Time- 7:30 AM

Venue- Sadar Bazaar Hall

“So here we are! Another NILAAMI! Human flesh is on sale. It’s going to be another “mouth watering” prospect- sponsored by DENT RO- “sabse costly paani”. The owners are ready with their PANAMA and SWISS accounts, ready for the best buy” says a super excited anchor.

“The Dalaal is out here and hope it’s going to be an exciting NILAAMI.”

With 2 new teams entering the league, this is going to be an interesting day.

Just to take note following is the budget available with each of the teams for this NILAMI-NILAAMI

Bare Angels = 40 crore

Left Hand Biryani’s = 30 crore

Real Giant Super Prince = 27 crore

Left Over Super Kings = 27 crore

Ex’s XI = 23 crore

Beer Whiskey Rum = 22 crore

Kuch Kuch Rota hai = 18 crore

Money Bhai =  30 crore

 

Kadak Nachaniye’s would be auctioned first. Here is the list- Baal Ki Dukan, 100KWatt, Dada Battisi, Angrezi Talent, Nagraj, Stun Gun No Bullets, Bubble Gum, The When’s With, Malti Gupt-Bimar.

 

Its 8:15 AM and all the Team Owners have arrived- Manmani’s, Shimla Queen, Ruk Ruk, Maal Le Liya, Mr No Body from Intel-X Tech, Mr Goa Singh Promoter from RGSP and others.

Intolerant People’s League Chairman Mr Shoe-Kala is here to kick start the NILAAMI. He welcomes the 2 new teams. He has tears in his eyes as he mentions about the suspended teams- Super Duper Kings and Desert Storms.

It’s 9:00 AM and the NILAMI is about to begin. The Dalaal has taken the centre stage and begins the auction.

“First up is Angrezi Talent.”

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[He was born in Afreeca but eventually played for the Angrez. And then shown the door because of too much tantrums. But those tantrums are of value in IPL.]

“His base price is 2 crore. The two new teams are in the race and finally sold for 3 crore to Real Giant Super Prince.

“Next up is Devil Width with a base price of 50 lakh.”

The two newbies are again in the race with Real Giant Super Prince starting off the bid. Bid goes up to 2 crore and Devil Width With goes to Left Over Super Kings.

[Discussion going on in hushed tone at the Ex’s XI table. Mess Ghatia seems to be unhappy about something. Shimla Queen looks composed though and SETTLED too!]

“It’s Baal-ki-Dukan next. Who wants these hairs?”

Ex’s XI start off the NILAAMI with 2 crore. That’s some price for hairs. Real Giant Super Prince spice it up with a bid of 3.8 crore. Shimla Queen is slightly unsure and chats up with Mess Ghatia and others, if they should go higher. Ball-ki-Dukan goes to Real Giant Super Prince for 3.8 crore.

“A really valuable nachaniya up for grabs- Malti Gupt-Bimar.”

Lo! and behold. He goes unsold.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, next up is 100KWatt”.

[Zooming into Manmani’s camp. Ms Manmani is not too happy with the budget formula, it seems. She pulls out two bags full of 1000 notes and questions as to why she can’t use those 20 crores. She was frustrated as she had saved that by not going for shopping for 2 full weeks.]

Real Giant Super Prince and Bear Whiskey Rum start off the tussle. Maal-Le-Liya is all excited and all. And then the baap of all Manmani’s join it. Bid goes up to 7.5 crore. That much money can feed 2500 families for a month as per National Below Poverty Committee! Ego games now between the two richest camps- Manmani’s and Maal-Le-Liya! Maal-Le-Liya finally wins. Manmani’s joins the banks on the losers list. 100KWatt goes for 9.5 crore to BWR.

“Another heavy weight now. It’s Bubble Gum.”

It’s said that he takes bubble gum with bread in breakfast, rice-bubble gum in lunch and bubble gum salad in dinner.

“Base price is 1 crore. “

Surprisingly, no takers for Bubble Gum.!

“It’s the old horse now- Dada Battisi.”

Ex’s XI start the bid. Left Over Super Kings challenging them, raising the bid to 3.5 crore. After much deliberation Ex’s raise the bid. And now Left Hand Biryani’s enter the ring for the first time today. And they take Dada at 5.5 crore.

“Folks we now have the most expensive selection from last years’ auction. Nagraj it is.”

Bare Angels don’t want to burn their hands this time around. It’s Manmani’s vs Maal-Le-Liya again. Intense competition takes the bid to 5.5. But just when Maal-Le-Liya was about to celebrate another win, Left Hand Biryani’s have again come in at the last minute and spoiled it. Nagraj goes to Biryani’s for 7 crore. Big buy that!

“We have the last nachaniya- Stun Gun NoBullets.”

Quite a long name he has! Real Giant Super Prince start the bid and BWR take it higher. But Left Over Super Kings enter at the end and take away NoBullets for 2 crore.

That’s the end of nachaniya auction. There’s a 15 minute break before the rest of the NILAAMI begins. 100KWatt went for the higher price at 9.5 crore while Nagraj, most expensive last year, is at second for 7 crore.

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