The projector screen displayed a rocket being launched, carrying some item. On the other side of the screen the word “Market” was written. The rocket was supposedly “aimed” towards the market.
The marketing manager, Arun, began with his presentation.
As he flicked to the next slide, the CEO interrupted him, “Wait, wait. Let’s not hurry into all the details.”
“Let’s spend some time, addressing the elephant in the room.”
He looked at the CMO while saying so. CMO was a bit fat and was taken aback by this.
“So, Mr. Elephant, err, Raghav! What do you think about the product?”
“Will it be able to fly?“
“It definitely is going to. As Arun will explain, we have a tremendous product, with great attributes, wonderful consumer scores, a very comprehensive go to market plan and an engaging market campaign to top it all.”
“Arun, can you take us through all of it?”
As Arun moves to change the slides.
CEO stops Arun.
“We are here to discuss the Launch of the product. But I haven’t heard a thing about how good is the rocket, does it take-off well, will it land at the right place, do we have enough fuel.”
“Let’s just concentrate on this slide. This is the most important slide.”
“But Sir this is just the Introduction slide. The Rocket here is a mere symbolic.”
“Cut the bullshit.” says CEO. “What are we here for?”
“We are here to discuss the Go-To Market plan for our new Product.”
“’Launch’ is the word, Arun.”
“Yes Sir, we are here to discuss the Launch of Product.”
“Good. Now that we are all on the same page.”
The CEO looks at everyone expecting some response. Then he puts up his notepad and points at the page number- “2”.
The HR Head quickly takes out his notepad and flicks to page 2. Other’s follow suit quickly.
CMO is the last one to follow this and only upon a tough glare by the CEO.
Arun quickly turns “on” page number display on this power point deck. Page 2 was the rocket image only.
“Let’s start addressing the questions I raised.”
“I have a doubt here.” the R&D head raises a question. “Are we using fully treated odour-free jet fuel or just he normal jet fuel?”
“Sir, that’s irrelevant.” says Arun in a dejected tone.
“It’s definitely, relevant Arun.”
“See, if we use fully treated odour-free jet fuel, the energy co-efficient would be high leading to better burn rate and faster acceleration.”
“That’s very insightful Kris.” says the HR Head. “This definitely is an important aspect of the whole paradigm of this stupendous project.”
“WTF is he saying.” Arun says to himself.
“But Sir…” Arun tries to reason, but his boss, Raghav, the CMO interrupts.
“Arun, let’s be a little receptive.”
“These are all a bunch of the most intelligent people in our company.”
“Yeah. I agree the fuel piece is an important aspect.” says CEO “But I want to first focus on the rocket.”
“So, Arun and Raghav, at what angle are you planning launch the rocket?”
“Sir, it doesn’t matter.” Arun
“Arun, will you please be a little more thorough in your response.” CMO
“It definitely, has to matter, since Yajesh is asking this. If we haven’t figured out the angle yet, then say so. But let’s do it soon.”
“Have we checked if the rocket will take off properly.”
“I have seen way too many flop shows on take-off. You tube is flooded with take-off bloomers.”
“Sir, we don’t have expertise in rocket take-off.”
“Arun! That’s inappropriate. If we don’t have the expertise then hire someone.”
[Some bullshit on how there is no expertise inside and they hire experts from outside]
“Okay folks, I will leave it to you to figure this out. Now, tell me what color is the rocket going to be.”
“Sir, how does that matt…”
“Arun! Enough of your attitude now.”
“Yajesh, what color do you like it to be?”
“It should be pink, with a bit of florescent green on the wings.”
“Sure Sir. That would be done.” Raghav confirms looking at Arun.
“So, it seems, you guys have a lot to figure out. Please go back and start working on these. Let’s connect in two weeks’ time.”
“Sir, we also have update on product. Can we spend some time on that now?”
“Sir the product we are going to launch.”
“What about that?”
“Sir we need to finalize the go to market strategy.”
“What the hell. Raghav, can you please brief him on what needs to be done. He seems to have not listened a bit on what we discussed.”
“Arun, please meet me immediately after this meeting.”