Apr 092017

Universal Ass. Against Short Pitch Bowling has issued a press statement that they will be on non-strike for the entire Intolerant People’s League season. This came after month long talks between UAASPB and ISeeSee concluded without any decision. UAASPB leader Short-Ball Na-Daina informed the press that they had raised certain demands to ISeeSee including

  • Short-Ball = No-Ball: All balls pitched shorter than good length to be called No-Ball
  • Shortening fast bowlers run-up: Run-up for fat bowlers to be restricted to 5 steps
  • Life imprisonment for bowling bouncers

ISeeSee refused to agree on these terms as per their announcement yesterday. Nagraj, InSane Watt are some of the other noted members from UAASPB, who will join Na-Daina in the season long strike by remaining on non-strike against all potential abusers of short pitch bowling.

Apr 092017

A gamer was seriously “injured” after “being in a fix” for close to three & a half hours yesterday. It was reported that he was watching an IPL match when this happened. He was playing fantasy IPL game and he had chosen a perfect XI with 6 players from one team and 5 from the other. However, as the match started he got into the fix of indecision as “what to expect” from the next ball. Since most of the time it was his fantasy team’s batsman facing against his fantasy team bowler. There were numerous occasions where this pain peaked like-

  • Fantasy batsman at 49 trying a six against fantasy bowler with figures of 3.5-0-39-0, which is controversially caught at boundary by fantasy fielder and decision goes to third umpire
  • Power player faces fantasy bowler on a Hat-trick

Doctors have issued an advisory to fantasy league gamers to avoid choosing the perfect XI and instead make random selections to keep their anxiety under control.

Apr 092017

Manmani’s justify 200% increase in Talent Sharma pay, to retain “talent”

With the pay revision of Intolerant People’s League players last week, a lot of criticism has been observed over the 200% pay increase for Talent Sharma. A senior HR manager at Manmani’s explained “Talent is key to the first part of our strategy of starting bad and bouncing back. Without him, it would be difficult for us to lose first 4-5 games.

Liyo offer extended till next InPL

Liyo offer has been extended to all InPL players till the next season at a token price of wearing Liyo on their sleeves. They would also need to show up in dancing shoes in order to continue their Prime Liyo membership. A few players were seen training with the Cheer Girls before the start of matches in orer to grab the Liyo offer.

Ben “bhai” Hill-pe-House has been signed up Bare Angels

Bare Angels continue to take big strides towards their vision of fielding All Seamer XI. They have sacrificed another non-seamer Jai Prakash Dwivedi to pull in Ben “bhai” Hill-pe-House. He has been signed up for a mere 2 BHK on the hill. Read more about how Swing Khan has taken up a “supporting role” at Bare Angels.